Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
