I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
