is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
