I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize