we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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