GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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