Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
