This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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