I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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