I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
