Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize