Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize