The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
