If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
