you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
