mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
