I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the night ended with taco bell and tears
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Mom said you looked used
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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