C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
