Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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