He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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