I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
