In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
