Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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