oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
