At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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