We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
