I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize