I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize