Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am one with the molecules
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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