All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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