Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
