I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
