my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
