Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
is wine microwaveable?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
