either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
