the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she peed on how many people?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
