do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
