Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
