Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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