This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
