What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
