My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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