He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
