Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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