put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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