Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize