Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
