Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
