Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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