I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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