dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
