me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
