Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
