You're completely useless in the revolution.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Randomize
