Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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