My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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