do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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