Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
