the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
