There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
